Baby’s First Release Day
An Internal Monologue

HEY, GUESS WHAT?

What?

WILD BURN IS FINALLY HERE!

Wasn’t it always here, Edie?

NO, IT WAS ONLY IN MY MIND. AND MAYBE IN A FEW REVIEWERS’ HANDS. BUT MOSTLY MY MIND!

Okay. It was in your mind.

AND NOW IT’S HERE! YAAAAAAY! [KERMIT FLAIL]

Where is “here”?

THE INTERNET! THE ONLINE STORES! ON YOUR E-READERS!

You sound rather…excited.

THAT’S BECAUSE I AM!

…Perhaps a bit too excited?

DEBUT FULL-LENGTH NOVEL. THAT’S KIND OF A BIG DEAL.

But is it really worthy of all this obnoxious caps-lock squeeing?

YES. YES, IT IS.

…I think you’ll regret this level of enthusiasm later.

NO, I WON’T! CAPS LOCK FOREVAH, BITCHES!

[shakes head] Yeah, you’ll definitely regret that.

PFFFT. WHATEVS.

Well, before the caffeine wears off, would you like to tell everyone where they can find Wild Burn? You know—act like a real, grown-up author?

PFFFT. WHATE—

Don’t you dare say “whatevs.”

—VER.

Fine. I’ll tell them where to find it. [clears throat] Everyone, you can find Wild Burn here on Amazon, here on Barnes & Noble, and here at the Samhain Publishing website. Also, you can find an excerpt from the novel here on Edie’s website, with buy links located in the upper right-hand corner of the Wild Burn page.

UGH. YOU ARE HARSHING MY BUZZ, WOMAN. IMMA GO SHARE MY “ENTHUSIASM” WITH SOMEONE WHO GETS ME. LIKE MY MOM.

…

WHUT. DON’T JUDGE ME.

[sigh] On that note, please go buy Wild Burn. We here in Edie’s head are going to try to shut this whole manic-excitement thing down, ASAP.

AHHHH, YOU USED ALL CAPS! I WIN!

…Aaaaand you’re done.